The “nobody has any fun” fleet

Originally published to Miniature Trading on July 25th, 2017

45 Points

I would NEVER use this in a game. Also, if you use something like this against me, don’t expect a full game.  (I don’t play with mermaids/fotg ever, and highly prefer no events at all)

This is a compilation of how to NOT have fun playing Pirates. It’s almost like a fleet of most of my least favorite things in this game.

Before you start the game, you can tell your opponent:
-“Yes I’m using a 0LR +5 crew.”
-“Yes I’m using 4 events, all of which are underpriced and OP.”
-“Yes that includes mermaids, the stupidest game piece ever invented.”
-“Yes I’m using the most annoying ship ability in the game on the largest and most powerful ship it appeared on.”
-“Yes I’m using the Banshee’s Cry.”
-“Yes I’m using two other dirt-cheap gold runners which have mostly irrelevant abilities that make them underpriced.”
-“Yes I might be building what is by far the best fort in the game.”
-“If it’s any consolation, no I’m not using Captain Jack Sparrow LOL!”

The game starts, and if your opponent goes first, you can use mermaids to freeze their well thought out and excellently crewed gunship for nearly the whole game. Or, use Hidden Cove to get gold immediately with the BC. If you go first, you get two turns: play Becalmed right next to their home island to freeze their fleet for their entire turn. If they try anything, you have fotg to wreck it.

Then we get to the actual gameplay. Get bored while they constantly measure over and over and over and over and over again with their gunship to try and get a single L range cannon in range of the Bonaparte. Then, it misses. A huge waste of time, and now move the Bonaparte right next to their gunship and hit it with chainshot (with the help of a reroll of course). Then spend most of the game shooting at their dead gunship with mediocre rank-3 cannons.

Ah, don’t forget the gold though! With 3 of the cheapest gold runners in the game, you should do fine in the treasure department. The fun of exploring islands and checking out what’s on them is eliminated through the omniscient UT’s included. Any fun UT’s will be knocked out through the others, which are permanent fun-wreckers.

Wreck everyone’s strategy, make everyone hate you, and win the game with boring and OP tactics. You win! Yay!

Remember: don’t have fun. 

(PS: Feel free to give this a reverse rating, such as a 1 or a 2 even if you think it’s a “good” fleet. I really would like that actually.)

Fleet page at Miniature Trading